The reason I haven't posted in the last few weeks is simply because of how overwhelmed I have been. We have learned a lot, had to make a lot of big decisions and it has been exhausting physically and emotionally.
After being pushed in one direction by my regular OB, we sought a second opinion from a MFM Doctor. I didn't really expect to be switching doctors or hearing our story in such a different way. However, the first MFM doc we saw was from Swedish American Hospital. He and his staff were wonderful and the office was calming and free of confusion and stress.
He looked through my medical records and asked a lot of questions. Ultimately, his final recommendation was to monitor my cervical length weekly until we were out of the danger zone of having issues with an incompetent cervix. The reasoning behind this was that I had a bad infection when I was admitted to the hospital and it was impossible to tell why I was dilating with that kind of infection present. IC is overly diagnosed and cerclage is overly used, two things of which I already knew but to this point we have been told that we needed a cerclage. He was confident that it was most likely if I did have any cervical changes that they would catch it on one of the u/s before anything bad happened and put a cerclage in. He also said that it is possible I do need the cerclage, but it is impossible to tell.
We fought with the decision of getting the cerclage and not getting it for weeks. It was very stressful to say the least, as you feel that you are making a life or death decision for your unborn baby. So many fears and questions run through your mind. Everyone has an opinion too. "You should do this, you should do that"…. it helps to hear everyone's opinions and ideas of course. Everyone has a different perspective but it's hard to make a decision when everyone is telling you what they think you should do.
We, more than anyone else in the world, are putting our baby first, to give our baby the best chance while also minimizing the risks for both me and baby. Some people didn't seem to understand why I even considered myself when making the choice. I almost lost my ability to have a baby with Lindsey, I could have even died and I don't see how me doing that again will benefit anyone.
We made the decision to be monitored and not get the cerclage unless it was needed. Our regular OB did not agree with this decision when we told her at our next appt. I was just a mess after that appointment. She told me she remembered better than I did about what happened before, during and after my loss. I just felt confused and guilty for disagreeing with her. When I think back, I really did not feel comfortable and I felt like our decision wasn't being taken seriously. Not to mention the chaos of that office….
She then told us that we were seeing a MFM doctor the next morning to get another opinion. I assume she wanted someone to agree with her about the cerclage. So we went to this other doctor ready to hear whatever she had to say.
Well she thought even more than the other MFM doc that the infection was first. She also said that it cannot be ruled out that I will not need a cerclage but that she would suggest waiting so that there was no unnecessary surgery or risks. All in all, we ended up transferring to MFM at Rockford Memorial Hospital with Dr. Platt. She is our primary but there are 3 other doctors, whichever is there when we are is the one that we see. I will write more about this later, just wanted to update everyone as to what happened over the last month! It has been crazy and emotional but it is settling down and we hope it stays that way!
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