22 Weeks!

I get weekly emails with updates about how our baby is growing each week and wanted to share this one with you!

This one info is from Gerber.

Our baby boy can now feel and he weighs about a pound and could be up to 11.8 inches long!

This week his nerve endings are becoming functional enough to feel.  He will now be stretching and pressing against the walls of my uterus to see how his body parts move.  I have definitely been feeling this since about Monday last week!  He started kicking much more!  Jimmy has even been able to feel him this week, the first time was Friday night 1/27.

Our baby boy's eyes will complete formation this week but the iris will still lack pigmentation.
His pancreas is also developing more this week.

He sleeps about 12-14 hours a day now.

I am doing as well as can be expected.  Overanalyzing every ache, pain and change in pressure is still part of my daily life but now I just tend to think more about what it could be and if it could be a sign that something is wrong.
The cerclage causes twinges once in a while and sharp pains if I move to quickly in the wrong direction.  The twinges actually feel like the baby is kicking really low, but of course that isn't what it is.
I spend a lot more time resting on the couch or in bed just in fear that if I do too much it could cause problems.  When I start having cramps or pressure I always head to the couch or to the bed to rest until I feel better.

I'm not sure if you can imagine or not, I know some of you can, that living in fear every day during your pregnancy is emotionally draining.  One phrase that I know many of us use goes something like "Today I am pregnant and everything is okay".  This is the phrase that we use, especially when we are scared, worried or stressed out.  You really do have to take one day at a time and sometimes it is more like hour to hour or minute by minute.  Thinking too far ahead and worrying about what could happen will drive you crazy.  We all have our freak out moments where we imagine something is wrong and cannot calm ourselves down until we see that little one on the ultrasound screen and see the flicker of his little heart and his kicking limbs.

I am always so thankful for my husband, he is really what keeps me together right now.  He is really the only person who can calm me down when I get upset and who can truly understand my fears and worries.

I am emotional? Uh, yeah.  Do the hormones contribute to my emotions? Yes, of course they do but so does this situation we are in and all the fear that comes with it.  Like I said before, it is absolutely exhausting and just emotionally draining!
When little things go wrong, I sometimes have irrational reactions but really I think that it is just the stress and frustration coming out.
The emotional side of it all isn't a joke and it is not funny to say that I'm hormonal and really, if anyone says that to me they can bet they are going to get some emotional and hormonal reactions! :D If you don't know, if you haven't experienced anything like this then you don't have the right to make jokes about how I am feeling and what we are going through.

I love that people open up about their experiences or people that they know that had something similar happen to them.  It makes us all feel connected, although I wish we didn't have to connect in that way.  I always try to remind people though, that each situation is different.  Everyone's story is different; their experiences, why they lost their baby, their complications, how old their baby was, how they dealt with the pain….it is all different for every single person and it is very important to remember that, I believe.

Here is the baby blanket I am crocheting him.  Nothing fancy since I am new at it but it's still fun!  You can also see my growing belly in this pic!