Appreciation

I have found a new appreciation for life this past year. 

Death does that to you I guess.  You can either learn to appreciate what it has taught you or you can choose to let it drown you in grief and anger. 

Of course, everything takes time and most people will go through all of the stages of grief, but at different rates.  I would say that the first two months after losing Lindsey were the hardest.  The events that had taken place were fresh in my mind, seeing everyone for the first time and doing everything again since our loss were the most difficult things.  It is hard to explain how your feelings and emotions change as time goes on.  It isn’t easier but it is different.  I haven’t quite found the words for it just yet.  All I know is that this past month I’ve been able to appreciate the little things again; things seem brighter. 

On one of my many walks around our neighborhood I realized that I was appreciating the warm sunshine and the beautiful blue sky again.  During the first few months after our loss even the brightest and sunniest of days seemed dreary and insignificant.

Death, especially of a person so very close to you, remind you just how quickly life can be taken; without any warning, reminding you that it is something that you cannot control.  I believe that the unknown and the things that you cannot control are the scariest for most people but you have to learn how to live with it.  Learn to relax and let things happen.  Of course, do what you can to make everything the best it can be but sometimes we have to learn how to deal with the things we cannot control.  For me, it makes me appreciate every minute of every day.  I have been taking time out of each day to appreciate the day and to do something that I enjoy doing.  Generally this involves taking a walk, painting or sitting outside with a good book.  I have recently signed up for level II of a painting class that I started last fall with a local artist. 

We struggle sometimes.   Some days are good and some are not so good but we have to learn how to deal with that and move forward.

So I guess I am just reminding everyone to appreciate life and take time to “stop and smell the roses”.