We are approaching the beginning of September. Where did the time go? I feel like I went to sleep in May, woke up and now it's almost fall! Fall brings on a whole new set of emotions for us. October was the month that Lindsey was due, actually she was pretty much due right around my birthday on the 22nd. Sometimes it seems so long ago and sometimes it feels like yesterday but more than anything it feels surreal. How many people does this actually happen to? It is not something that is generally openly talked about but I truly think it's important for people to know.
Infant loss and miscarriage are a taboo in our society. No one talks about it and no one really knows about it. I never had a clue, I mean babies aren't supposed to die these days, right? That is something that only happened hundreds of years ago when medical care was basically non-existent. However, up to 25% of all recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. Sometimes women may not even know that they are pregnant as the pregnancy can end at the same time their period is expected and they will never know about that pregnancy. A miscarriage is any pregnancy that ends on it's own before 20 weeks. These seem like high statistics don't they? I'm not hear to scare you but just to educate you about how many women really do experience this in their lifetimes.
I can tell you I have found out that about 10 women than I know personally have revealed to me that they have also had a miscarriage after they found out about mine. Remember that those are the women that actually told me and I am sure that there are more that have not said anything. On top of that I have found even more people that have admitted to me that their wives or aunt or someone close to them have also experienced miscarriage in the past. There is only one woman that I know personally that had lost her baby in the second trimester, the same time frame that we lost Lindsey. I want to point out that second trimester losses are much less common than first trimester losses. I was just shocked at the number of people that I knew personally that have struggled with this without anyone even knowing about it.
If you knew about how many things have to go just right to create life it would make more sense to you as to why things just don't work out sometimes. It's a sad fact of life but it's real.
That being said; I think it's important to go into a pregnancy with a positive attitude. Those who have had a loss I say that they have lost their pregnancy innocence and if you are allowed to keep that innocence I am so very happy for you but please be thankful for your good fortune and enjoy your pregnancy every day no matter what symptoms you may be experiencing!
Believe me, with my next pregnancy I will be hoping and praying to vomit every day! Those dramatic symptoms are a good sign that the baby is strong and healthy!
I am also amazed by all the people that came forward with their stories of loss after they found out about mine. I hate that it is such a common thing and that others have felt this pain.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is something I just never knew about or understood and it saddens me that it is so common and so many women are left to suffer through it alone.
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